Honest Moments...

Ok, so this might be a little deep (and slightly embarrassing)...

I can count my friends on one hand. I really don't enjoying going out to meet new people and trying to put on a fake front to make people like me. I am extremely content with my best friend, my husband, and the few other close friends I have. At work I cant really make close friends since I technically am their superior. So its a pretty rough patch when i need someone to talk to...anyways...enough of my self pity, here's the reason i had to let you in on my embarrassing life... :)

While growing up, I always thought "wow, i cant wait to be 16, then ill be free to drive around and ill be happy." then when i was 16, it was "wow, i cant wait to be 18, then ill be an adult and people will treat me like one" at 18 "i cant wait to be 21 so i can really be taking seriously" at 21 "damn i this sucks! i want to settle down and start a family"  now at 26, married, (and having very few friends), and ttc-ing,  i have realized why i have always been in such a hurry to "grow-up". i was waiting to be a mom. (insert awwww) i know i know, kinda lame. But it is truly how i feel. hopefully I'll be right this time. here's my realization...

When I have my little baby and my loving husband, my life will start.

All my life i have been waiting for it to start...urging it to move faster to get to the good parts, hoping the next big thing will be it. Well, now i dont have a doubt in my mind that this is it. We are on the brink of a major life change and i couldnt be happier! I feel like once i have my little one in my arms, i will want and need to visit with other mommies and go out and do things, playdates, library visits, etc. i cant wait! Its finally here, and now im just praying for my BFP! (dont get me wrong, i know im extremely blessed to have the things that i do. i have very grateful! but i am always looking forward to the future)


Baby Dust & Many Blessings!
Nikky